Anxiety During Pregnancy: What It Really Looks Like and How Postpartum Planning Can Help
Anxiety during pregnancy is just as common as postpartum depression — but far less recognized. As a perinatal mental health therapist in Jersey City, I see it every day, and it rarely looks the way people expect. Here's what it actually looks like, and how postpartum planning can set you up for a healthier fourth trimester.
By Stephanie Arrington, LCSW, PMH-C | Heights Psychotherapy | Jersey City, NJ
Pregnancy is supposed to feel exciting. And for many people, it does, at least some of the time. But for a significant number of expecting mothers, pregnancy also brings a persistent undercurrent of worry, dread, and emotional overwhelm that doesn't get talked about nearly enough.
Anxiety during pregnancy is just as common as postpartum depression and yet it's far less recognized. As a perinatal mental health therapist in Jersey City, I work with expecting and new mothers every day, and anxiety is one of the most frequent, and most missed, concerns I see.
What Anxiety During Pregnancy Actually Looks Like
One of the reasons perinatal anxiety goes unaddressed is that it doesn't always look the way people expect. It's not always tearfulness or panic attacks. Often, it's quieter and harder to name.
It might look like:
Researching obsessively and being unable to stop even when it makes you feel worse
Feeling convinced something is wrong with your baby even after a reassuring appointment, and finding the relief only lasts a day or two
Staying extremely busy and over-planning as a way to feel in control
Feeling on edge, irritable, or snapping at your partner without knowing why
A persistent belief that you're going to be a bad mother. Not as a passing thought, but as something that follows you
Feeling detached or numb, and wondering if something is wrong with you
Anxiety is sneaky. It finds the thing that matters most to you and makes it the thing you can't stop worrying about. Right now, there is nothing that matters more to you than this baby and anxiety knows that.
If any of this resonates, it's worth paying attention to. Anxiety during pregnancy is treatable. And more importantly: untreated anxiety during pregnancy is one of the biggest risk factors for postpartum anxiety and depression. Which is exactly why what you do before the baby arrives matters so much.
Why Postpartum Planning Is One of the Most Valuable Things You Can Do
Here's something I say to expecting clients often, especially first-timers: not knowing what you'll need postpartum is completely normal. Having a baby is abstract until it's actually happening. You can read every book, take every class, and still have no idea how you'll feel, what will be hard, or what kind of support will help.
That's not a failure. That's just the reality of stepping into something you've never done before.
This is exactly why postpartum planning matters — and why I offer it as part of my work with expecting parents. It's a chance to think through the practical and emotional landscape of the postpartum period before you're in the thick of it.
In postpartum planning sessions, here's what we cover:
Caring for mom — your physical, emotional, and mental recovery, and who is responsible for making sure you are taken care of
Sleep — realistic strategies for both mom and baby, and how to divide nighttime responsibilities with your partner
Food — what you'll prep and freeze, which nights are takeout nights, and what snacks will be within arm's reach at 3am
Visitors — how to set boundaries that protect your recovery and give your support system a job so visits feel helpful
Caring for baby — feeding, sleep, and who is doing what, so you're not negotiating in the fog of sleep deprivation
Identifying PPA and PPD — what postpartum anxiety and depression actually look like from the inside, and how to know when it's time to reach out
The goal isn't a perfect plan. It's to go into the postpartum period feeling less alone, more prepared, and with a clearer sense of what you need and who is in your corner.
You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone
Whether you're navigating anxiety during pregnancy, preparing for postpartum, or already in the thick of the fourth trimester, support is available, and you deserve it.
I work with expecting and new mothers in Jersey City and virtually throughout New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Schedule a free consultation to learn more about postpartum planning and perinatal mental health therapy.
Stephanie Arrington is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Perinatal Mental Health Certified (PMH-C) therapist at Heights Psychotherapy in Jersey City, NJ, specializing in maternal mental health, anxiety, and support for modern mothers.
When the World Feels Heavy: Mental Health Support for Mothers and Families in Uncertain Times
By Stephanie Arrington, LCSW, PMH-C | Heights Psychotherapy, Jersey City, NJ
If the start of this year has felt less hopeful and heavier, you’re not alone.
In my work as a licensed clinical social worker and therapist in Jersey City, I’m hearing a common theme: the world feels hard right now. National and local events feel unsettling. News cycles and social media are constant. And in the middle of it all, parents are still expected to show up to work, care for their kids, and function as if nothing is happening.
Mental health does not exist in a vacuum. Systems, policies, community stress, and lived experience all shape how safe we feel in our bodies and homes. When the broader environment feels unstable, it makes sense that anxiety, irritability, exhaustion, or numbness might increase.
This is especially true for modern mothers. Many are already carrying the mental load of parenting, managing households, working outside the home, and navigating postpartum changes. When you layer in political stress, economic pressure, or violence against our communities, it can intensify symptoms of anxiety or depression.
If you’ve noticed more racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, emotional reactivity, or a shorter fuse with your kids, it does not mean you’re failing. It means your nervous system is responding to threat.
Grounded Ways to Care for Your Mental Health
When the world feels chaotic, we focus on what is within reach:
Limit news exposure without total avoidance. Choose reliable sources and set boundaries around when you consume information. Set limits for how long you’ll scroll the news.
Regulate. Slow breathing, stepping outside, or pausing before engaging on your phone and social media can calm your nervous system.
Protect connection. Reach out to a trusted friend, join a community event, or schedule therapy. Co-regulation with others matters.
Stay anchored in routine. Predictability lowers anxiety for both adults and children. Get a good night’s sleep, eat, and move your body.
If you are pregnant or postpartum and struggling with intrusive thoughts, constant worry, or persistent sadness, support is available. 📞The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (1-833-943-5746) offers free, 24/7 confidential help. 📞Postpartum Support International also provides helplines and virtual support groups. Call 1-800-944-4773 or text “HELLO” to 800-944-4773 (EN) / “HOLA” to 971-203-7773 (ES) www.postpartum.net
How to Practice Self-Care During Uncertain Times: How can I practice self-care during uncertain times? - NAMI HelpLine
How to Talk to Kids About Difficult News
Many parents ask how much to tell their children about current events.
Start by asking what your child already knows. Keep explanations simple and concrete. Stick to the facts. Validate feelings rather than rushing to reassure. Emphasize safety and the presence of helpers. Most importantly, maintain routines. Children borrow calm from regulated adults.
If your own anxiety feels high, therapy can help you process before having these conversations.
How to Talk with Your Kids About Current Events: How to Talk to Your Kids About Current Events and Difficult News
What to Say to Kids About ICE: What to Say to Kids About ICE | Children's Network
Therapy for Modern Mothers in Jersey City
At Heights Psychotherapy, I specialize in therapy for modern mothers, children with anxiety, and families navigating stress in real-world context. My work integrates evidence-based treatment with a deep understanding of how systems impact mental health.
If you’re searching for therapy in Jersey City, postpartum depression and anxiety support, or counseling for overwhelmed moms, reaching out for a consultation is a steady first step.
It’s okay if your goal right now isn’t thriving, it’s stabilizing. You deserve support in this moment.
Schedule a free consultation today: www.heightspsychotherapy.com/contact