What Maternal Mental Health Month Actually Means (And Why It Matters This May)
For many moms, May is complicated. It's the month we're told to celebrate, even when we're exhausted, grieving, or quietly hanging on. This post is for every kind of mother's experience, and a reminder that struggling doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human, and help is available.
By Stephanie Arrington, LCSW, PMH-C | Heights Psychotherapy | Jersey City, NJ
May holds a lot. It's the month we put flowers on the table, write cards, and celebrate mothers. It's also Maternal Mental Health Month, a dedicated time to raise awareness about the emotional and psychological experiences that come with pregnancy, postpartum life, and parenthood in all its forms.
I've always thought it was meaningful that these two things share the same month, even if they can feel like they're in tension. Mother's Day asks us to honor mothers. Maternal Mental Health Month asks us to actually care for them. Both matter. And they are not the same thing.
It's More Than the Baby Blues
Perinatal mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, and psychosis, are the most common complication of pregnancy and the postpartum period. And yet they remain widely underdiagnosed and undertreated and the effects can last for years. Part of what makes this so frustrating is that the gap isn't due to a lack of effective treatment. It's due to a lack of awareness, access, and honest conversation.
A few things worth knowing:
It's not just postpartum depression. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) can begin during pregnancy and can show up as anxiety, intrusive thoughts, rage, numbness, or difficulty bonding. Symptoms don't always look like sadness. They can last months or even years into motherhood, and they often go unrecognized because they don't match the cultural image of what "struggling" looks like.
It can happen to anyone. Regardless of how much you wanted your baby, how supported you are, or how prepared you felt going in. Your mental health is not a reflection of your love for your child or your readiness to be a mother. They are a medical condition, and they deserve to be treated as one.
It is treatable. With the right support, most people recover fully. You do not have to white-knuckle your way through this.
For Every Kind of Mother's Day
Mother's Day is complicated for a lot of the moms I work with. It can bring up grief, exhaustion, ambivalence, the ache of unmet expectations, or simply the wish that someone would ask how you're really doing.
If that resonates with you, I see you.
You don't have to perform happiness on Mother's Day. You're allowed to feel exactly what you feel. This year, I want to offer one small invitation: take five quiet minutes before the day gets busy and ask yourself, "What do I actually need right now?" Write it down. Then, if you can, ask for it.
That act of naming what you need is one of the most powerful things you can practice. It doesn't have to be elaborate. It can be an hour alone, a meal you didn't make, or simply saying "I need help today" out loud to someone who loves you. Letting someone take something off your plate isn't something you have to earn. It's something you deserve because you're a human being who needs rest.
Getting Support
If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is available and you don't have to figure out where to start on your own. A few trusted resources:
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline offers free, confidential 24/7 support for expecting and new moms. Call or text 1-833-943-5746. Postpartum Support International has a free helpline, virtual support groups, and a therapist directory at postpartum.net. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available to anyone in emotional distress, around the clock, by call, text, or chat at 988lifeline.org.
Working With a Perinatal Mental Health Specialist
As a licensed clinical social worker with a perinatal mental health certification (PMH-C) and over 16 years of clinical experience, I specialize in supporting mothers through every stage of the journey. Whether you're newly pregnant, newly postpartum, or years into motherhood and finally ready to name what's been hard, this work is what I'm here for.
I see clients in person in Jersey City and virtually throughout New Jersey, New York, and Florida. If you've been sitting with something and wondering whether to reach out, I'd be honored to support you.
Anxiety During Pregnancy: What It Really Looks Like and How Postpartum Planning Can Help
Anxiety during pregnancy is just as common as postpartum depression — but far less recognized. As a perinatal mental health therapist in Jersey City, I see it every day, and it rarely looks the way people expect. Here's what it actually looks like, and how postpartum planning can set you up for a healthier fourth trimester.
By Stephanie Arrington, LCSW, PMH-C | Heights Psychotherapy | Jersey City, NJ
Pregnancy is supposed to feel exciting. And for many people, it does, at least some of the time. But for a significant number of expecting mothers, pregnancy also brings a persistent undercurrent of worry, dread, and emotional overwhelm that doesn't get talked about nearly enough.
Anxiety during pregnancy is just as common as postpartum depression and yet it's far less recognized. As a perinatal mental health therapist in Jersey City, I work with expecting and new mothers every day, and anxiety is one of the most frequent, and most missed, concerns I see.
What Anxiety During Pregnancy Actually Looks Like
One of the reasons perinatal anxiety goes unaddressed is that it doesn't always look the way people expect. It's not always tearfulness or panic attacks. Often, it's quieter and harder to name.
It might look like:
Researching obsessively and being unable to stop even when it makes you feel worse
Feeling convinced something is wrong with your baby even after a reassuring appointment, and finding the relief only lasts a day or two
Staying extremely busy and over-planning as a way to feel in control
Feeling on edge, irritable, or snapping at your partner without knowing why
A persistent belief that you're going to be a bad mother. Not as a passing thought, but as something that follows you
Feeling detached or numb, and wondering if something is wrong with you
Anxiety is sneaky. It finds the thing that matters most to you and makes it the thing you can't stop worrying about. Right now, there is nothing that matters more to you than this baby and anxiety knows that.
If any of this resonates, it's worth paying attention to. Anxiety during pregnancy is treatable. And more importantly: untreated anxiety during pregnancy is one of the biggest risk factors for postpartum anxiety and depression. Which is exactly why what you do before the baby arrives matters so much.
Why Postpartum Planning Is One of the Most Valuable Things You Can Do
Here's something I say to expecting clients often, especially first-timers: not knowing what you'll need postpartum is completely normal. Having a baby is abstract until it's actually happening. You can read every book, take every class, and still have no idea how you'll feel, what will be hard, or what kind of support will help.
That's not a failure. That's just the reality of stepping into something you've never done before.
This is exactly why postpartum planning matters — and why I offer it as part of my work with expecting parents. It's a chance to think through the practical and emotional landscape of the postpartum period before you're in the thick of it.
In postpartum planning sessions, here's what we cover:
Caring for mom — your physical, emotional, and mental recovery, and who is responsible for making sure you are taken care of
Sleep — realistic strategies for both mom and baby, and how to divide nighttime responsibilities with your partner
Food — what you'll prep and freeze, which nights are takeout nights, and what snacks will be within arm's reach at 3am
Visitors — how to set boundaries that protect your recovery and give your support system a job so visits feel helpful
Caring for baby — feeding, sleep, and who is doing what, so you're not negotiating in the fog of sleep deprivation
Identifying PPA and PPD — what postpartum anxiety and depression actually look like from the inside, and how to know when it's time to reach out
The goal isn't a perfect plan. It's to go into the postpartum period feeling less alone, more prepared, and with a clearer sense of what you need and who is in your corner.
You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone
Whether you're navigating anxiety during pregnancy, preparing for postpartum, or already in the thick of the fourth trimester, support is available, and you deserve it.
I work with expecting and new mothers in Jersey City and virtually throughout New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Schedule a free consultation to learn more about postpartum planning and perinatal mental health therapy.
Stephanie Arrington is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Perinatal Mental Health Certified (PMH-C) therapist at Heights Psychotherapy in Jersey City, NJ, specializing in maternal mental health, anxiety, and support for modern mothers.