When “Snack Wars” Aren’t Really About Snacks
It’s never just about the snacks. When a partner eats the marathon fuel you need or packs dog food for lunch as a “joke,” it’s not funny—it’s dismissive. These “little things” reveal bigger truths about respect, invisible labor, and whether you feel supported in your relationship. Here’s why they matter, and how therapy can help.
Recently, two stories made the rounds on social media that struck a nerve for a lot of women.
One woman shared that her husband packed dog food in her lunch as a “joke” instead of a proper lunch.
Another trained for a marathon only to discover her partner ate the special snacks she had set aside to fuel her run.
At first glance, these might look like small things—silly mistakes, lighthearted pranks, maybe even “no big deal.” But the overwhelming reaction online tells a different story: women saw themselves in these moments. They recognized the all-too-familiar sting of not feeling considered, respected, or supported by their partner.
Why These Stories Landed So Hard
For many women, these moments aren’t funny—they’re exhausting. They’re not about snacks or lunches. They represent something much bigger:
The weight of invisible labor. Women are often the ones planning, anticipating, and carrying the mental load of family life. When a partner dismisses that with a prank or thoughtlessness, it reinforces the message: your needs don’t matter as much as mine.
The lack of emotional safety. Relationships thrive when each partner can trust that the other has their back. Eating the marathon snacks or packing dog food as a “joke” chips away at that sense of care and reliability.
Minimization and dismissal. Too often, women are told to “lighten up” or “stop making a big deal out of nothing.” This turns genuine hurt into the butt of a joke, leaving women questioning their own reality.
These stories went viral because they revealed something many women already know: small acts of disregard add up. They speak to a culture where women’s labor is expected but rarely honored, and their needs are too often last on the list.
Can Couples Therapy Help?
In couples therapy—especially in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)—we don’t just look at the fight about the snack or the prank. We dig into the emotional needs underneath: care, respect, reliability, partnership. For some couples, this work can be transformative. They learn new ways to connect, to repair, and to show up for each other differently.
But let’s be honest: not every partner is willing or able to do that work. And women often sense when they’re the only one carrying the effort to change.
Why Individual Therapy Matters Too
That’s why I also talk with women about the power of individual therapy. You don’t have to wait for your partner to change in order to feel better. In fact, sometimes the most radical act of care is focusing on yourself.
Individual therapy can help you:
Untangle what these small-but-hurtful moments really bring up for you.
Clarify what you want and need in your relationship.
Strengthen your sense of self-worth, so you’re not constantly questioning whether your needs are “too much.”
Build strategies for boundaries, communication, and—when necessary—hard decisions about what you’re willing to live with.
It’s not about fixing him. It’s about centering you.
The Bigger Picture
When women vent online about “snack wars” or “dog food pranks,” they’re not being petty. They’re pointing out the cracks in a system where too often, men are allowed to take women’s labor and loyalty for granted. These small moments matter because they tell the truth about whether someone feels seen, respected, and valued.
Whether through couples therapy or individual therapy, the work is about breaking free from painful cycles and finding clarity about what kind of support and partnership you deserve.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to explore how therapy can help, I invite you to reach out for a consultation. Together, we can talk about your needs and whether individual or couples therapy is the right next step.