Below is a list of common parental behaviors that accommodate a child’s anxiety. In the past two weeks, did you engage in any of the following behaviors in response to your child’s fears, anxiety, or to prevent distress in your child?

Ask yourself… Have I been doing this?

🛌 Sleep & Bedtime

☐ Let my child sleep in my bed or bedroom
☐ Slept in my child’s bed to help them fall asleep
☐ Stayed in the room while my child fell asleep
☐ Let my child sleep with the lights on
☐ Skipped bedtime routines (e.g., bathing, brushing teeth) due to distress

🏫 School Accommodations

☐ Let my child stay home from school or take a “mental health day”
☐ Picked my child up early from school
☐ Informed the school or teacher to excuse my child from certain assignments
☐ Drove or picked up my child to avoid the bus or public transportation
☐ Allowed my child to skip schoolwork or homework
☐ Avoided talking about school to prevent upset

🤝 Separation Accommodations

☐ Avoided going out or making plans without my child
☐ Delayed or canceled my own plans to stay with my child
☐ Let my child call or text me repeatedly when apart
☐ Answered every call or message from my child immediately
☐ Gave detailed updates before leaving or while apart
☐ Responded to texts or calls from my child checking to see if I was okay
☐ Left events or activities early to return to my child
☐ Promised to return at a specific time or stick to exact plans
☐ Prolonged goodbyes or returned after leaving to reassure my child

🍽️ Eating & Food Accommodations

☐ Let my child eat a different meal from the rest of the family
☐ Allowed my child to skip meals or avoid certain foods
☐ Cooked separate or “safe” meals that met specific preferences
☐ Bought specific brands, textures, or preparation styles to accommodate food rigidity
☐ Let my child eat in a separate room, with screens, or with distractions

💬 Reassurance & Communication

☐ Answered repeated questions about the same worry
☐ Repeated myself to make sure I said things the “right way”
☐ Provided reassurance multiple times about the same topic (e.g., health, safety, morality)
☐ Avoided certain words or topics
☐ Allowed my child to follow me around the house

🧍‍♂️ Social Avoidance & Participation

☐ Let my child skip a birthday party, playdate, or social event
☐ Ordered for my child at a restaurant or in public
☐ Answered questions directed to my child
☐ Stayed home from work or canceled personal plans
☐ Avoided loud or crowded environments (e.g., fireworks, movies)

📅 Routine Changes

☐ Changed household routines to prevent meltdowns or anxiety
☐ Adjusted family plans or schedules to reduce my child’s distress

Noticing These Patterns? You're Not Alone.

If you found yourself checking off multiple items, it might mean you're unintentionally accommodating your child's anxiety. While these responses come from a place of love and protection, they can reinforce your child’s fears over time.

There’s a different way forward.

SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is a research-backed approach that helps parents respond with a step-by-step plan. It will build confidence, reduce accommodations to anxious behaviors, and support your child’s long-term growth. It’s truly life changing.

Reach out today to learn how SPACE can help you take the next step.

*Adopted from: SPACE Program, Lebowitz & Omer