When “Snack Wars” Aren’t Really About Snacks

Recently, two stories made the rounds on social media that struck a nerve for a lot of women.

• One woman shared that her husband packed dog food in her lunch as a “joke” instead of a proper lunch.

• Another trained for a marathon only to discover her partner ate the special snacks she had set aside to fuel her run.

At first glance, these might look like small things—silly mistakes, lighthearted pranks, maybe even “no big deal.” But the overwhelming reaction online tells a different story: women saw themselves in these moments. They recognized the all-too-familiar sting of not feeling considered, respected, or supported by their partner.

Why These Stories Landed So Hard

For many women, these moments aren’t funny—they’re exhausting. They’re not about snacks or lunches. They represent something much bigger:

• The weight of invisible labor. Women are often the ones planning, anticipating, and carrying the mental load of family life. When a partner dismisses that with a prank or thoughtlessness, it reinforces the message: your needs don’t matter as much as mine.

• The lack of emotional safety. Relationships thrive when each partner can trust that the other has their back. Eating the marathon snacks or packing dog food as a “joke” chips away at that sense of care and reliability.

• Minimization and dismissal. Too often, women are told to “lighten up” or “stop making a big deal out of nothing.” This turns genuine hurt into the butt of a joke, leaving women questioning their own reality.

These stories went viral because they revealed something many women already know: small acts of disregard add up. They speak to a culture where women’s labor is expected but rarely honored, and their needs are too often last on the list.

Can Couples Therapy Help?

In couples therapy—especially in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)—we don’t just look at the fight about the snack or the prank. We dig into the emotional needs underneath: care, respect, reliability, partnership. For some couples, this work can be transformative. They learn new ways to connect, to repair, and to show up for each other differently.

But let’s be honest: not every partner is willing or able to do that work. And women often sense when they’re the only one carrying the effort to change.

Why Individual Therapy Matters Too

That’s why I also talk with women about the power of individual therapy. You don’t have to wait for your partner to change in order to feel better. In fact, sometimes the most radical act of care is focusing on yourself.

Individual therapy can help you:

• Untangle what these small-but-hurtful moments really bring up for you.

• Clarify what you want and need in your relationship.

• Strengthen your sense of self-worth, so you’re not constantly questioning whether your needs are “too much.”

• Build strategies for boundaries, communication, and—when necessary—hard decisions about what you’re willing to live with.

It’s not about fixing him. It’s about centering you.

The Bigger Picture

When women vent online about “snack wars” or “dog food pranks,” they’re not being petty. They’re pointing out the cracks in a system where too often, men are allowed to take women’s labor and loyalty for granted. These small moments matter because they tell the truth about whether someone feels seen, respected, and valued.

Whether through couples therapy or individual therapy, the work is about breaking free from painful cycles and finding clarity about what kind of support and partnership you deserve.

If this resonates with you and you’re ready to explore how therapy can help, I invite you to reach out for a consultation. Together, we can talk about your needs and whether individual or couples therapy is the right next step.

What Weekend Golf Says About the Mental Load in Your Home

Let me be clear and start with this: it’s not really about golf.

If your partner plays golf, enjoys fishing, plays video games, trains for marathons—this post isn’t about demonizing hobbies. In fact, it’s great when people have something they love. What I’m talking about is something quieter, but deeper. It’s the way women tend to bend around their partner’s time, routines, and needs—while theirs remain negotiable, invisible, or downright ignored.

I hear it all the time in my therapy practice:

“He works really hard during the week, so I don’t want to nag.”
“He decompresses on the course.”
“I don’t want to be the wife who ruins his fun.”

Meanwhile, she hasn’t had a morning alone in three months. Her hobbies are on pause until the baby sleeps better. Her therapy keeps getting rescheduled because someone has to do daycare pickup. Spoiler alert: it’s her.

When I hear that a husband plays golf every weekend, what I’m really hearing is that his time is protected like gold and hers is treated like spare change.

It’s not about the sport. It’s about the system.

When one partner’s free time is considered sacred and the other’s is always up for negotiation, that’s not equity. That’s emotional labor. That’s mental load. That’s a woman silently managing, adjusting, overcompensating.

This isn’t just about resentment (though that will sneak in eventually). It’s about women being trained to shrink their needs, to be "understanding," to pick up the slack, to never say, “What about me?”

And here’s what I want to say to you: what about you?

Your time matters. Your needs matter. You are allowed to have boundaries, rest, and hobbies that interrupt family plans sometimes. You are allowed to ask for more without being labeled “difficult” or a “nag”. You are allowed to expect partnership—not management.

So, if you’ve found yourself feeling vaguely off about your partner’s weekly four-hour golf game while you’re juggling groceries, play dates, and nap time—you’re not crazy. You’re waking up.

I help women untangle this stuff. Not by confronting their partner with a checklist of grievances, but by returning to themselves. By naming what’s been happening. By getting clear on what they need, what’s sustainable, what’s equitable.

This is about taking your time seriously.
This is about giving yourself permission.
This is about not carrying the whole load alone.

You can love your partner and still want more.
You can appreciate their need for downtime and fight for your own.
You can say, “Something needs to change”—and mean it.

And if you’re ready to start unloading the invisible weight, I’m here. Let’s work together to create more space, more clarity, and more you in your life. Reach out to schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward lightening your load.