What Weekend Golf Says About the Mental Load in Your Home
What if your partner’s weekly golf game isn’t just about self-care, but a clue about how your time is valued at home? In this post, I explore how hobbies highlight deeper imbalances in the mental load women carry, and why it’s okay to want more space for yourself. If you’re feeling stretched thin while your partner’s time is protected, you’re not alone and you don’t have to keep carrying it all.
Let me be clear and start with this: it’s not really about golf.
If your partner plays golf, enjoys fishing, plays video games, trains for marathons—this post isn’t about demonizing hobbies. In fact, it’s great when people have something they love. What I’m talking about is something quieter, but deeper. It’s the way women tend to bend around their partner’s time, routines, and needs—while theirs remain negotiable, invisible, or downright ignored.
I hear it all the time in my therapy practice:
“He works really hard during the week, so I don’t want to nag.”
“He decompresses on the course.”
“I don’t want to be the wife who ruins his fun.”
Meanwhile, she hasn’t had a morning alone in three months. Her hobbies are on pause until the baby sleeps better. Her therapy keeps getting rescheduled because someone has to do daycare pickup. Spoiler alert: it’s her.
When I hear that a husband plays golf every weekend, what I’m really hearing is that his time is protected like gold and hers is treated like spare change.
It’s not about the sport. It’s about the system.
When one partner’s free time is considered sacred and the other’s is always up for negotiation, that’s not equity. That’s emotional labor. That’s mental load. That’s a woman silently managing, adjusting, overcompensating.
This isn’t just about resentment (though that will sneak in eventually). It’s about women being trained to shrink their needs, to be "understanding," to pick up the slack, to never say, “What about me?”
And here’s what I want to say to you: what about you?
Your time matters. Your needs matter. You are allowed to have boundaries, rest, and hobbies that interrupt family plans sometimes. You are allowed to ask for more without being labeled “difficult” or a “nag”. You are allowed to expect partnership—not management.
So, if you’ve found yourself feeling vaguely off about your partner’s weekly four-hour golf game while you’re juggling groceries, play dates, and nap time—you’re not crazy. You’re waking up.
I help women untangle this stuff. Not by confronting their partner with a checklist of grievances, but by returning to themselves. By naming what’s been happening. By getting clear on what they need, what’s sustainable, what’s fair.
This is about taking your time seriously.
This is about giving yourself permission.
This is about not carrying the whole load alone.
You can love your partner and still want more.
You can appreciate their need for downtime and fight for your own.
You can say, “Something needs to change”—and mean it.
And if you’re ready to start unloading the invisible weight, I’m here. Let’s work together to create more space, more clarity, and more you in your life. Reach out to schedule a free consultation and take the first step toward lightening your load.